


Maybe I need some rehab (or maybe just need some sleep)

by queenhawke



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sex Pollen, i tried to make it as consensual as possible but it's still poison-induced horniness so u know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 23:00:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13669107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenhawke/pseuds/queenhawke
Summary: “Well,” River sighed, “the fluid on the thorn is an aphrodisiac, which I kinda figured considering the nature of this planet and your behaviour...”“Oh. Right.” The Doctor's voice shot up two octaves. “That's... that explains some things.”“But,” River interrupted him, “it's a rather aggressive one.”“Meaning?”“Meaning you'll probably die within the hour if you don't get some sort of release.”The Doctor groaned, stumbling over to the TARDIS, resting his shoulder against the wood. “Great. Wonderful.” He screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out all his senses (her smell her face the heat of her body so close so close) so he could focus on normal, rational thoughts. “Maybe we can... an antidote... there must be –”“Or we could just have sex.”





	Maybe I need some rehab (or maybe just need some sleep)

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this fic a billion years ago, in response to a prompt on the kinkmeme, but I can't for the life of me remember what the prompt was. Something to do with sex pollen, I assume. Anyway, happy Valentine's Day I guess?
> 
> Title from Kesha's Your Love Is My Drug, because why be subtle when you can be obvious.

Planet CR-45238-X was, despite its absolutely horrendous name, a lovely planet. Discovered and colonised by humans, it could have been one of the most popular holiday planets in the Sertrasis system, with its colourful flora and fauna and very pleasant weather. It wasn’t. Perhaps the name was partly to blame. No one was gonna say, ‘Gosh darling, why don’t we and the kids go on a little getaway to CR-45238-X? I heard they have wonderful cruises on the FHP-633-SS-32FG ocean!’. Of course, you probably wouldn’t want to take your kids there regardless. CR-452– well, you know, had a very thriving sex industry.

It was at that moment that Rory nearly choked on his drink. “ _Sex industry?_ ”

The Doctor coughed nervously while Amy gently patted her husband on the back. They were having a nice little picnic in a forest. Or he _thought_ they were having a nice little picnic, but then they just _had_ to ask about the planet and now he was starting to feel a blush creep up his cheeks. “Well, yes. The plants here are very useful for the production of the, er, sort of products they use in this… type of… industry. Stimulants and natural lubricants… that sort of thing.”

“‘Natural lubricants’ was not a phrase I’d ever want to hear you use,” Rory muttered. Amy laughed.

“So that’s why you’ve been keeping us away from the cities! Didn’t want us to see all the sex shops, did you?” she said. The Doctor blushed and flailed his hands around.

“No! I just wanted to show you the sights! You know, nature! Not all that boring city stuff. I mean, look at this, look at the flowers, the birds, those mouse-like thingies with the spindly legs, the -”

“The natural lubricants,” Rory deadpanned. Amy burst into a fit of giggles as the Doctor’s face got even redder.

“I’m just trying to take you somewhere nice!”

“Are you trying to hint at something, Doctor?” Amy smirked. “Because I’m very sorry, but me and Rory are pretty exclusive. Unless Rory disagrees...” She glanced almost hopefully at the Roman, who pulled a face.

“Ugh, mental scarring, Amy.”

“What, you telling me you don’t lie awake at night thinking of that wonderful pasty alien body?”

“My body is not _pasty_! And I’m not - I didn’t mean -” The Doctor was having an increasingly harder (no, no let’s not go there) time getting the words out. Not that either Amy or Rory heard him. Amy seemed to be unable to stop giggling, and Rory looked like he was caught between laughing and vomiting. This was not how he’d planned it at all.

“Tell me Doctor,” Amy said, her voice now slightly hoarse from laughing. “Do you look human downstairs too, or will we be needing _natural lubricants_.” Rory made a sound that was a cross between a giggle and a wail. Oh, that was _it_.

“You know what,” the Doctor said, with an expression that might have been stern if it weren’t for the fact that his face was as red as a tomato, “why don’t you two finish this _amazing picnic,_ which I spent _hours_ on, on your own. You are clearly not mature enough to discuss this _beautiful_ planet like - like normal adults. I’m going for a walk.” And with that he stormed off, as dignified as his red face allowed, and absolutely completely ignoring Amy’s shout of “Have fun with the plants!” and the subsequent laughter.

 

‘Going for a walk’ had sounded a lot nicer an hour ago. At some point the little forest had transformed into a dense jungle, and he was now climbing up a steep hill, hoping he could find out where he was at the top. Not that he was lost, of course. He knew perfectly well where he was. He just wanted to know even more perfectly well where he was. Sadly, what he had assumed was a small hill had somehow morphed into a mountain. He stopped, panting heavily. There had to be some way to get above the canopy… He glanced up at the bright magenta trees. No other solution, he supposed. He was going to have to climb.

“Alright Doctor, you can do this. It’s just a tree,” he muttered to himself (earning him a curious look from a passing squirrel-esque creature). There were some low-hanging branches, if he just jumped he could get onto them and climb up from there. Easy. Anyone could do it. Taking a deep breath, he jumped, and managed to grab the branch with both his hands. “Ha! Success!”

A loud creaking noise disrupted his cheers.

“Ah.” Apparently the trees weren’t as sturdy as they’d looked. There was a _snap_ , a _crash_ , followed by the sound of a Time Lord tumbling down a steep hill. Down he went, bumping into trees, through thick, sky-blue bushes and earning a lot of disapproving looks from animals who weren’t used to aliens trampling through their jungle. Well, it wasn’t as though he was doing this on purpose! Honestly, they had no right to look at him like that, he had no control of the situation. Maybe if they made their trees a bit stronger he could have gotten a hold on one of them, but no, everything just snapped under his fingers. He was gaining quite a lot of speed, too. He’d had to stop eventually though, right? Maybe, he thought wistfully, maybe he’d just roll right back to the TARDIS. Wouldn’t that be nice.

His prayers were partially answered. He rolled through one more shrub (unfortunately, one with a lot of sharp, stingy things) before crashing into… something. Something that yelped and fell over. He’d come to a halt, at least. The Doctor groaned. God, his entire body felt like it had become one big bruise. And he was dizzy as hell. He tried to adjust to a world that wasn’t spinning, not noticing the sound of the something he had crashed into getting up until he heard something very familiar.

“Doctor?”

He opened his eyes. He knew that voice. And he certainly knew that _hair_ , even if his vision was still blurry.

“River?”

He wasn’t even really surprised. Of course River was here. It was a bloody sex planet, it was gonna be either her or Jack. Or both. Oh god, what if they were both here?

“Jack’s not here, is he?” he mumbled apprehensively. River’s face was finally coming into focus. What a lovely sight after all that rolling.

“What? No, Jack’s not here. Why are _you_ here, though?” she said as he tried to get up. His legs weren’t really cooperating. Nor was the rest of his body. River sighed, grabbing him firmly under his armpits and dragging him up.

“Oh! You’re very strong. Good. Nice.” He swayed a bit, nearly falling over again. Luckily River was there to steady him. How nice. Everything was very nice right now, apart from the dizzy feeling.

“Sweetie, I’ll ask you again, what on Earth are you doing here?”

“Not Earth! CR-45238-X. Great planet. Very rude trees. Don’t trust them.”

“Doctor…”

“I’m just sightseeing with Amy and Rory,” he huffed. “Only they had to go and ruin it. So I thought I’d take a walk.”

“And then you got lost.”

He gasped, offended. “River Song, I do not get lost! It’s this jungle that’s confused.” River quirked an eyebrow. “Well, maybe I’m a tiny bit lost. A teensy tiny bit.” Her eyebrow rose higher. “Quite a bit, maybe. Okay, I’m lost!” he snapped. She smirked. God, she had a beautiful mouth. Wait, no, what was that?

“You know rolling off slopes isn’t the best solution to being lost, right?”

“Well, what’s your excuse?” he said, hoping to divert the conversation away from him being lost. Which was all very understandable, this jungle was ridiculous. Anyone would get lost. River was probably lost too.

“Oh, just investigating some ruins. They weren’t as interesting as I thought, so I’m on my way back to the city now.”

“Ah!” the Doctor exclaimed. “And you got lost, right?”

River laughed. “No, sweetie. I know exactly where I’m going. I came prepared.” She held up her scanner. “It’s got GPS.”

“Well that’s cheating,” the Doctor mumbled.

“Shall we do diaries? And then I can get you back to the TARDIS,” River said, pocketing her scanner and taking her little blue book out of the backpack she was wearing. “Let’s see… Have we done the Ebarian Sands?”

“No. Last time I saw you was America.” Quite an adventure that had been. The memory suddenly hit him, vivid and clear like it was happening right that moment. Her hand on his neck, pulling him in. The realisation of what was happening dawning in on him the split second before their lips met. River Song was kissing him, and it was _amazing_. His hands flailed around in shock before gingerly settling on her shoulder. Her tongue softly nudging against his lips and oh god, how could he do anything but open his mouth? She tasted like time and thunderstorms, which was rather magical since neither of those were actually tastes. He wished this could go on forever, that he could kiss River until the end of –

“Doctor? Sweetie, are you alright?”

He snapped out of the daydream. “I – what?”

River looked concerned. “Your eyes glazed over for a while there. Do you have a concussion or something? You did have quite a fall before...”

“No, I – I don’t know. It’s just –” He tugged on his collar, suddenly feeling very warm and… tingly. “Is it hot here? I mean, yes, it’s a jungle, it’s supposed to be hot, but – is it hotter? It feels hotter. Definitely hotter. Almost as hot as you.” He slapped a hand to his mouth. “Oh god, did I say that out loud?”

“Probably some sort of concussion, yes. Alright, TARDIS. Should be easy enough to track her energy signal.” River tapped the screen of her scanner a few times. “Looks like it's to the west.”

“Right, I knew that,” the Doctor said (River rolled her eyes). Meanwhile, the tingly feeling was spreading through his body in a not entirely unpleasant way. He was starting to feel a bit… odd. “Do we really need to get back to the TARDIS though? I mean. It’s not bad here. Here is fine. You’re here. That’s nice. Like the kissing, that was nice too.” River looked really confused now.

“Sweetie, what the hell are you on about? We need to get you to the – what’s that in your neck?”

“What? What do you mean?” The Doctor’s hands flew to his neck. “Ow!” He bumped into something lodged firmly in his skin. River rushed to his side.

“Here, let me –” Deftly, she plucked whatever it was from his neck, causing him to yelp in pain again. She ignored his irritated muttering as she examined the thing. “It’s like some sort of… thorn.” She held it up in the light. It was deep purple, and glistening with a strange fluid.

“Interesting,” the Doctor said. “And by interesting, I mean boring. C'mon,” he tugged at River's arm. “We were... going somewhere.”

“The TARDIS.”

“Yes! Blue box, soundproof walls, lots of beds. Why am I thinking about beds?”

River furrowed her brows. “It's just this thorn...”

“The thorn is boring!”

River sighed, her patience clearly wearing thin. “Hang on, I want to analyze this thing okay? You're behaving stranger than usual, and I'll bet my own doctorate that it's got something to do with this thorn.” She took out a little attachment for her scanner out of her backpack and placed a drop of the fluid on it. The device beeped.

“ _Scanning... Analyzing data... Results will be ready in: Thirty-two minutes. And. Fifty-six seconds._ ”

“Ugh,” River muttered. “Damn field scanners, always so slow. Well, I suppose we might as well go on our way to the TARDIS to pass the time.”

 

The way back to the TARDIS proved to be much shorter than the Doctor's initial trip through the jungle, which probably had a lot to do with River's GPS. Even so, it was still about a half hour walk, although it felt longer to the Doctor. A part of his brain was screaming that it wasn't normal to get so engrossed in the little beads of sweat on River's arms, or the way the muscles in her legs moved underneath her skin, or the way her breasts bounced slightly with every step she took. Although to be fair, another, more giggly part of his brain said, that last one was probably quite normal for a lot of people. Then the sensible part of his brain protested that it wasn't normal for _him,_ but then the giggling part of his brain pointed out that it wasn't as if he'd never noticed her breasts before, considering how River had a fondness for very low-cut clothes and also what about those dreams he'd had that had him waking up gasping her name? And then he noticed River was looking at him weirdly and he wondered if he had been saying all of this out loud.

“It's just hard _not_ to look at you, you know? I mean you're only wearing that tank top and those shorts and they're both quite tight and you're the one with the GPS so I have to walk behind you and, well, how am I supposed to not look?” He clapped a hand to his mouth. “I meant to think that.”

“I figured.”

“Sorry,” the Doctor mumbled through his fingers. “You just have a really nice body and I'd like to touch it. NO! Bad mouth!” His face was starting to go red, he could feel it. He was starting to feel other things, too. Things in his... lower regions.

River smirked. “It's quite alright, darling. I think I've got an inkling of what's happening to you. Ah, and there's the TARDIS now.” Indeed it was. The Doctor let out a sigh of relief when he saw the familiar blue wood peeking through the trees. Home sweet home. Home sweet, glorious, air-conditioned home with lots of nice horizontal surfaces with cushions and – no, no, don't think about that! He had to control himself. They'd almost reached the doors of the TARDIS, and then everything would be alright.

There was a beep and a metallic voice. “ _Results available._ ”

“Ah!” River pulled the scanning device out of her pocket. The device didn't actually read the results out loud, so the Doctor stood by, anxiously fiddling with his jacket (and trying very hard to ban the very inappropriate thoughts he was having about River out of his head) while River's eyes flicked over the text on the screen.

“Ah,” she muttered. “Well.”

“What?” the Doctor asked nervously. “What is it?”

“Well,” River sighed, “the fluid on the thorn is an aphrodisiac, which I kinda figured considering the nature of this planet and your behaviour...”

“Oh. Right.” The Doctor's voice shot up two octaves. “That's... that explains some things.”

“But,” River interrupted him, “it's a rather aggressive one.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you'll probably die within the hour if you don't get some sort of release.”

The Doctor groaned, stumbling over to the TARDIS, resting his shoulder against the wood. “Great. Wonderful.” He screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out all his senses (her smell her face the heat of her body so close so close) so he could focus on normal, rational thoughts. “Maybe we can... an antidote... there must be –”

“Or we could just have sex.”

It was the combination of those words and her voice so close to him that made him grab her none too gently and pin her against the TARDIS doors.

“Oh god no, River – I'm so sorry, I –” he rambled, shocked to find that his hands seemed to have gotten a life of their own and were gripping her hips so tight he thought he had to be leaving bruises. In fact, his whole body had abandoned any orders from his brain and was pressing itself against River's. There was no way she didn't feel his raging erection against her thighs. Thoroughly embarrassed, he glanced up at her face. She was smiling. Well, of course.

“It's alright, sweetie.” She was breathing a bit heavily as well. Snaking one hand around his back and the other behind his neck, she pulled him in even closer. “It's not like this is the weirdest shag we've had.”

“Ah,” the Doctor mumbled as one of his legs decided to slide between River's, causing a groan to escape both their lips. “Er. About that...”

River frowned. “We  _have_ had sex before, right?”

“Um.” He was _trying_ to answer her, honestly, but he got a bit distracted by his right hand, which had snuck under River's top and was now exploring the delicious smooth skin underneath.

“ _Doctor_.”

“Not... not really.”

“Not _really?”_

“We've kissed.” Ah yes, the kissing, that was good, he should – no, they were talking, you can't kiss and talk!

River groaned. “Oh dear. Well, this is definitely not how I intended your first time with me to be.”

“Had a plan, did you?” He swallowed as his left hand, which had at some point slipped between her back and the door, dropped to her arse and squeezed. River gasped.

“Bit of a plan,” she whispered. “It definitely involved a lot more consent on your part.”

“Sorry.” He dropped his head to her neck, breathing in her scent, wondering if her skin tasted the same as her mouth.

“Hardly your fault.” She shifted a bit. “Maybe you were right, we should just try and find an antidote. I'm sure the TARDIS –”

“ _No,_ ” he groaned into her neck, taking his hand off her arse so he could press her harder against his ship. He could feel himself losing control of his mind as well. He had to hold on, just long enough –

“It's fine, sweetie, I've got handcuffs in my backpack, I can restrain you and –”

He forced himself to look her in the eyes, bringing up one of his hands to stroke her face. “I _want_ this, I really, _really_ want this,” he growled. He crashed his mouth onto hers, kissing her roughly. She hesitated for a second, then opened her mouth to him, kissing him back, curling her tongue around his in a way that made him see stars. It was just as good as the last time, if not better. Her hand was fisted in his hair, while his hands roamed her body. His mouth left hers to press wet kisses to her neck, biting and sucking in a way that made her throw her head back against the TARDIS and moan. He wanted to touch all of her, feel her everywhere, _taste_ her everywhere.

“Are you sure that's not just the poison talking?”

Again, he hadn't realised he was talking out loud. He stopped his attack on her neck, desperately fighting the fog in his mind so he could form a coherent answer.

“No – yes, maybe, a bit,” he gasped, “but – no, I – you're _River Song_ , you're infuriating and maddening and bloody gorgeous and – _God_.” Unable to help himself, he bucked his hips against her, making them both groan. “After – after the kiss, I couldn't stop thinking about – about you, about how amazing it had been, and I knew I wanted – wanted _more_.” She wrapped one of her legs around him, grinding herself against his still clothed erection, and it was almost too much already.

He tried to still her hips. “No, no, not yet.”

“Sweetie,” River said, chuckling, “we're on a bit of a schedule here. Sex or death, remember?”

“No, I want – I need –”

“Shhh.” River put a finger to his lips, and he couldn't help but flick out his tongue to taste her, causing her to giggle. “It's okay honey, just let go.” She reached for his trousers, probably to undo them, but it was far too late, he'd already _let go_. He grabbed the leg wrapped around him, angling their bodies so the friction was just right, and rolled his hips against hers, hard. A tiny voice in his head remarked that he was now, in fact, dry-humping River Song, and that he was going to ruin his trousers like this. Then the fog in his mind swallowed him whole, and he was mindlessly grinding against her, slamming her into the doors. He swore he actually felt the TARDIS wobble a bit, but River forced his mouth to hers and all his senses were reduced to _her her her_ until he came, groaning her name against her mouth.

“Well,” River said when she finally caught her breath again, “that is one way to do it.”

“Hmmm,” he mumbled, still pressing her against the doors. The tingling feeling in his body hadn't gone yet, nor the fog in his head. In fact – he stilled while River started talking about how they should get inside and get cleaned up in case Amy and Rory came back.

“River,” he slurred, unable to keep himself from nipping at her bottom lip. “It's not –“ He thrust his hips against her. River gasped when she felt his member, completely hard again, against her thighs. “Don't think it's over.”

“Oh, great,” River said. “You just had to go and roll into one of those extra potent poisonous plants, did you? Alright then, round two.” She started unbuttoning his pants, but the Doctor batted her hands away.

“No, no, I think I need – ” He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Panting, he slipped one hand beneath the waistline of her shorts so he could finally slide his fingers along the heat between her thighs. She was slick and warm and silky, and he buried his face in her neck again, breathing a sigh of relief. “ _This._ ”

“Oh. _Oh._ ” River gripped his shoulders tightly as he slowly stroked along her sex. “Well, I can get behind this. Although...” He looked up, frowning.

“What?”

She merely smiled, covering his hand with her own and guiding him. “No offence, sweetie, but you're clearly a bit out of practice.” Well, he thought vaguely as she used his hand to pleasure herself, he certainly wasn't complaining. As she steered his fingers to her entrance, while keeping one thumb pressed to her clit, the fog took over again. They moaned in unison as his fingers pumped in and out of her. She felt amazing, all tight and smooth and _perfect_ . The smell of her permeated the air, heady and musky, mingling with the smell of sweat and the unique scent of the forest. She was getting close now, he could tell. Not only were her movements becoming more desperate, but her moans had gotten louder and louder until they'd turned into cries of pleasure. Quite the screamer, indeed. She was absolutely glorious like this, face flushed, hair wild, mouth open. He hoped the fog in his mind wouldn't prevent him from remembering this. He wanted this moment imprinted into his memory forever. He wanted this moment to _last_ forever. Just him and her and his fingers inside her, her walls contracting around him as she came hard, shouting her pleasure for all the world to –

“Doctor! Doctor, what's going on, we heard screams and – _oh god_.”

Both River and the Doctor froze. Standing a few feet away were Amy and Rory, looking quite out of breath and absolutely horrified.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” River said, voice a bit shaky from her orgasm.

“Yeah, I think that's the perfect word,” Amy muttered. They all stood in silence for a while.

“This might be the time to get your hand out of my pants,” River whispered eventually.

The Doctor swallowed. “Can't.” Involuntarily, his fingers pressed against her, earning him a gasp. Rory made a small, inarticulate noise and turned his back to them. Amy, meanwhile, seemed too shocked to move an inch.

“He's been poisoned. Strong aphrodisiacs,” River said, laughing nervously. “Sex planets. You know how it is.” When Amy didn't respond, River helplessly added, “He'll die if we don't have sex, basically.”

“Oookay!” Rory suddenly said, voice a bit too loud. “We'll just... get off – _be off_ then. Have, er, fun, I guess.” And with that, he grabbed Amy's arm and dragged her along, back between the trees. River and the Doctor said nothing while the sound of the Ponds running through the forest dissipated (although the Doctor's silence had more to do with his mouth being occupied with kissing River's neck and jaw).

“Right.” River cleared her throat when she was sure they were completely alone again. “That killed the mood.”

“Um. Not for me, unfortunately,” the Doctor mumbled. River rolled her eyes.

“Well, of course not. Bloody exhibitionist, you are.” She paused. “Okay, so am I, but I draw the line at those two.” She reached for his hand again, tugging it out of her pants. He made a small, disappointed noise at the loss of contact. “Oh, hush. We should've just gone straight to the real fucking, anyway. I'll bet you anything that'll fix your problem.”

“Oh, I don't know,” the Doctor said absent-mindedly, staring at his fingers, wet with her juices. “This is quite good too.” He stuck one finger in his mouth, groaning at the taste of her. Blimey, she really did taste amazing all over.

“Really? Interesting. You're not just turned on, are you? You're getting physical pleasure out of... well, pleasuring _me_.” She smirked. “I can see how that poison could be a very popular product. Double the fun. When you take out the lethal side, of course.”

“You know, you're really hot when you get all analytical,” the Doctor muttered, still relishing in her taste.

“In your current situation you'd probably think I was hot even if I was talking about archaeology.”

“Oh, _God yes_.”

“Well, now I _know_ you're poisoned,” she said, laughing. “Anyway, perhaps we could move somewhere a bit more comfortable. As much as I love a bit of frantic door-shagging, I'd prefer to give my legs a bit of a rest. Been doing a lot of intense _archaeology_ today, you see.”

“Hmm,” the Doctor said dreamily, his drugged-up mind already conjuring up a whole array of exciting images, “been raiding tombs, have we? Traversing through dark tunnels, just you, your wit and a torch against the deadly traps –”

“It was mostly squatting in the dirt, staring at bits of pottery, but sure.”

“Oh, but I bet you looked _lovely._ ”

River rolled her eyes, and tried to gently push the Doctor off of her. “Lord, this is one hell of a poison. Look, let's just get inside the TARDIS. There's beds. Remember beds?”

“No – I don't – I mean, I just –” He gripped her tight, pulling her back in, suddenly terrified to let go of her. “Don't go – don't go away, please, River –”

“I'm not going away, we're just going inside, okay?” She snapped her fingers, and the TARDIS doors swung open. For a moment, the Doctor felt his mind clear, and the pure _want_ in his head was joined by embarrassment – the Ponds, dear god, how could he ever look at them again, and how could he be so shameless, so weak, what must River think of him – and his grip loosened, giving River the opportunity to drag him inside. The doors closed behind him, and he could already feel the TARDIS's calming effect starting to wane, could feel the fog start to creep back in.

“River, I'm so sorry,” he whispered, his hands settling on her hips again, but gently this time. “This is such a mess.”

River frowned. “Are you feeling better? You sound... more lucid.”

“The TARDIS's psychic connection – cleared up my thoughts a bit, but not for long.”

“Sweetie, again, if you want me to tie you up, find an antidote –”

“No, no, no,” he said quickly, “it's not – look, I know myself, if I don't – you know – if we don't do this now, it'll be ages before I'm brave enough to do it again. I _want_ this, truly, but I'm an idiot, River, and a coward. I'll keep running away and then I'll kick myself for wasting all that time. Maybe this isn't the most ideal way but... maybe it's exactly what I need. Just a bit of a push to get me over this... this thing.”

“It's a bit more than a push, I think.”

“Yeah,” he said, “yeah, it's more like being shot out of a cannon.”

“Oh sweetie,” River said, sighing and tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. “What am I gonna do with you?” Her hand trailed along his cheek, his jaw, and he leaned into her, instinctively.

“You're gonna have sex with me,” he whispered, leaning in further, their lips just a breath apart, “and you're gonna cure me of this disease. And then we're gonna have sex again, and you're gonna cure me of my cowardice.” He kissed her then, not because of the poison, but because he wanted to, because he always wanted to, because he needed to make up for lost time. The fog returned, and this time he welcomed it with open arms. She was dragging him up the stairs meanwhile, talking about bedrooms, but the fog was having none of that. He slumped down on one of the chairs near the console, tugging her down into his lap.

“Oh! I see,” River said, while his hands started hungrily roaming her body. “No beds, then?”

“Too far away,” he muttered. Her top rode up a bit, and he was oddly captivated by the strip of skin it exposed. Well, 'oddly' wasn't the word. He knew why.

“As long as I don't have to stand, I'm fine with anything,” River said. She noticed his gaze, and smirked, pulling her top off in one smooth motion. “Now, how's that?”

“Wonderful,” he whispered, drinking in the sight of of her. Her tan skin, the taut muscles of her abdomen, her slightly heaving chest – he could've written a thousand poems on the spot about her, if his mind wasn't so occupied with other thoughts. He leaned in, pressing kisses to her neck, her clavicle, down to her breasts. He fumbled with the clasp of her bra for a bit, until River sighed.

“Honestly?”

“Bras are very complicated,” he said, pouting a bit.

“You'll get the hang of it someday,” River said, reaching behind her back and undoing the bra herself.

“Guess I'll have to practice.”

“Oh, you'll get plenty of that.”

He was trying to come up with some sort of smooth reply to that, but then she took her bra off, and he stopped being able to think coherently altogether. He was vaguely aware of a small part of his brain, somewhere far away, that was having a minor panic attack about this, but it was drowned out by the haze that took control of his body and made him stroke and lick River's breasts. In a way, the distant voice said, still a little panicked and shaky – in a way, the poison actually gave him an advantage. Had he done this sober, for lack of a better word, he probably would have been much more nervous and shaky and rubbish. With his inhibitions completely lowered, he was _much_ better at this whole sex thing – at least, judging by the way River was moaning and pulling at his hair.

Of course, that did mean that when he _was_ sober, he was probably gonna be rubbish again. So really, he was setting a standard he wouldn't be able to live up to for a while. Ah, you win some, you lose some.

His stream of thoughts was interrupted when River suddenly stood up. He reached for her, desperate to get her back, but she swatted his hands away, laughing.

“I have to take the rest of my clothes off, sweetie. It's a bit hard to do when I'm sitting in your lap.” That was reasonable, he supposed, even if he really rather hated not being able to touch her. She took her shoes and socks off, and then her shorts. Her underwear was surprisingly plain – he'd expected something lacy and alluring – but then again, she'd been on a solo expedition. She probably hadn't counted on him being there. It didn't matter all that much anyway, he was much more interested in what was underneath her clothes. It hit him then – the reality of it, the fact that this was it, he was about to have sex. Real, actual sex. With River Song. Who was possibly his wife. Who was _probably_ his wife. He felt like he had to say something.

“You look... really nice,” he said, a little breathless.

She smirked, hands on her hips. “'Really nice'? That's all you've got?”

Right. Yes, that was a bit rubbish. “You look... it's – I just – can't think of the right words. It's – English is such a limited language.” He licked his lips, trying to organise his thoughts, which would have been hard enough as it was, but which was nigh impossible while drugged. River, meanwhile, leaned back against the console, a move that displayed her body rather well. That wasn't making things easier. He had to try, though – it was very important that he tell her this. His body wanted nothing more than to touch her, and he was sure that River would let him, that she was absolutely not expecting romance right now, but damnit, he wanted to get this right, despite everything. It was _difficult_ , though. His body was aching, almost to the point of being painful. The poison doing its work, no doubt.

River didn't say anything. She just looked at him, waiting patiently for him to speak. He locked eyes with her, and then, slowly, without breaking her gaze, undid his trousers. He slid his hand inside his boxers, grasping himself, feeling himself – he had to close his eyes then, the sensation too intense. When he opened them again he saw River staring at him, head slightly tilted, lips parted, eyes glittering.

“There's a word in Gallifreyan,” he said, his voice a little shaky, “there's no equivalent word for it in English – or any language – but it translates roughly as 'the sight of the leaves changing'. It's – it's about seeing the passage of the seasons, the physical representation of _time_ that it represents, the beauty of it.” He said the word then: the familiar-yet-almost-forgotten sound, all its rolling consonants, the slight melodic lilt of it. He saw River shudder slightly, her own hand sliding down between her legs, which in turn made _him_ shudder. Once again, he looked her straight in the eyes.

“That's what I think about when I see you.”

She practically tore off her underwear, and in a flash she was in his lap again, kissing him deeply, roughly. He kissed her back, his hands roaming her body, touching her anywhere he could. It was like River was fire, every touch searing his skin, the combination of pleasure and pain nearly unbearable.

“River,” he said, tearing himself away from her mouth, “River, I really think – we really should have sex now. I think I might literally be about to die.”

“Shouldn't have wasted your time on poetry, dear,” she said, smiling, but then she freed his cock from his trousers and sank down on it. The effect was instantaneous: the pain disappeared, and in its stead was only pure pleasure, coursing through his body. When she started moving he was almost afraid he'd black out, so intense was the feeling. He wrapped his arms around her, clutching onto her. He'd worry about his nails digging into her back, but he suspected that she rather enjoyed that. She was holding onto him just as tightly, one of her hands once again in his hair, tugging hard, and _oh_ , he liked _that_.

It didn't take long for either of them to finish, coming almost at the same time, her shouting his name, him muffling his own shouts in her neck. He kept holding on to her, letting the last waves of his orgasm pass through him. Her hand lessened its grip on his hair, stroking it gently instead. She let out a content sigh.

“You alright then?” she said after a few seconds. He looked up at her. She looked magnificent: her hair wild, skin flushed, sweat beading on her face, down her neck.

He directed his focus onto his own body and mind. He felt... _done_. His body was warm and sweaty (and he only now realised he was still wearing most of his clothes, including his jacket), and there was a slight buzz in his head, but it was nice, pleasant. No fog. He could think clearly again.

“Yeah,” he said, voice hoarse. “Yeah, I'm good now. Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” She moved off of him, standing up. “You look like a mess.”

“Just the kind of words a person wants to hear after having had sex with someone for the first time.”

River laughed. “Sorry – I just mean your clothes. Well, and your face a little. And your hair.”

“The hair's your fault.”

“Guilty as charged.”

He sat up straight, zipped up his trousers, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. River had started gathering up her clothes, slipping on her underwear and her top (but not her bra, he noticed). He cleared his throat. “Listen – I'm sorry about this.”

“Not your fault, sweetie.”

“I know, but –”

“No buts, Doctor. I won't have it.”

“Right.” There was a pause. “It was nice, though.”

“Hm. You did nearly die.”

“And you saved me. Well,” he said, managing a smile, “that's very me, isn't it? Very _us_.”

“That's true. Now,” she said, holding out her hand to him, “I do believe you said something about having sex _again_ after this.”

He blushed. “Ah. Well. Yes, I suppose I did.” He took her hand, and she pulled him out of the chair. “And I suppose promises must be kept.”

“Well, to be fair, you were drugged out of your mind. I can let it slide, if you want.”

“I don't,” he said hastily. “I mean – I do want to – you know, do _that_ again. Would be nice to experience it sober.”

“We could use a bed this time.”

“A bed sounds nice.”

“Or the shower.”

“Also an option.”

“Or both.”

He couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. “Both is good.”


End file.
